The Sarcasm is High

So, I don’t have a home computer still, nor do I have pay-tv so I have been unable to watch any of the current season of TB…..not that it sounds like I have been missing anything.  I have been kept up to date of the goings on through the weekly blogging that occurs on California Kats site.  Hilarious stuff.  Anyhoo, over the past few weeks I have heard some doozy theories elsewhere in regards to TB and it’s ending, so below, I give you some theories I have heard, and some of my own, on how we will leave the citizens of Bon Temps.

1.  It all turns out to be a hallucination of Sookie as she lays dying after being beaten by the Rattrays.  She awakens in hospital having been rescued by Sam and is surrounded by Gran, Tara, Lala, Sam etc.  This is where she realises everything was a hallucination.

2.  It’s a blood induced hallucination caused by Bills blood after saving her from the Rattrays.  The show essentially ends where it began; with Sookie and Bill at the beginning of their romance after he ‘saved’ her life.

3.  It all turns out that Sookie is writing a books series, (essentially she is CH) and everything we have seen is CH writing the show.  ( This is because there was a spoiler that CH will appear in the last episode and apparently we see Pam and Eric on a set somewhere).

4.  Eric realises he is 1000 years old, can’t be bothered with this childish shit, takes Pam and Whatserface away and starts a career as an actor / model with Pam as his PA.

5.  Realising he is the champion, Bill will wear the amulet that will destroy all vampires and with one final lingering look goodbye, he is destroyed as it explodes in light.  Sookie and co barely manage to make it outside of the town limits before the entire hell-mouth collapses, destroying the town in the pr……..  No, wait.  Wrong show.  My bad.

6.  Sookie will do something moronic, someone will turn her and she will become the new snivelling depressed Vamp, taking over from Bill who exploded from being so anally retentive……….






10 thoughts on “The Sarcasm is High

  1. Maybe another Dallas or Buffy — the option where Eric takes children and runs away gets my vote as to what I would like to see 🙂 I think the writers have been taking “V” or that new drug “Bath Salts” I read that would give you the bat shit crazies. Wonder what odds Vegas is giving for the different endings 🙂

  2. Obviously, I’m up for the Buffy ending, but in no way do I want Bill wearing the amulet! Remember, Spike returns as a ghost & then becomes corporeal, so Eric can wear the amulet! Being as they were both the “bad boy” vamps who ended up being good guys (Spike leaving & fighting for the return of his soul) and blondes, it’s only right for Eric to wear the amulet! Bill can buried in the Hellmouth & turn to ash.

    Now, #6? That seems fitting for Sookie considering the idiotic character the writers have created in her. It’s pathetic. I saw the Dallas thing the first time around, and to have TB rip that off might be funny, but it’s been overdone.

    I’ll go with Eric taking his progenies & getting the hell out of Dodge, for $1,000, Alex!

    Hey SuzyQ! What the heck are “BathSalts?”

    • Oh indeed Eric is the true champion but I just want Bill dead already. Personally, i have no idea what the TB writers are doing. I know its good for them to keep us guessing but I lack the caring now to be invested in what they are doing. I kinda just want it done. Eric alive, happy, living his life with Pam and Willa. Sookie, dying alone and miserable because she is stuck on the Bill track and his cassette got chewed long ago.

    • Bath Salts are literally bath salts you put in your bathtub, I don’t remember if they snort or smoke them or both… but they make you bat shit crazy. I think someone is using it as a legal defence in a murder investigation, it was a big news story last year.

      • Snorting or smoking regular bath salts? What the hell is the matter with people? Seems to me you’d have to be batshit crazy to even think of something like that! I’m sure the defense for the accused will be able to pull that one off… but then there was the “Twinkie Defense!” What a world!

  3. If they’re going to go with option 3 (which I sincerely hope not, the diary scene was bad enough) I hope CH shows up on Sookie’s door with a subpoena for plagiarism but it might as well be the BTVS ending because there are absolutely no parallels or physical similarities to be drawn between the Angel/Spike/Buffy and Sookie/Bill/Eric triangles….

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